A Fluffy Tale Page 8

  “Will he get better?”

  “Most likely, yes. However the main concern is that he could be heading for a worse stroke, so we want to assess him and see if he needs further treatment before we release him. The odds are good that we can head off a further attack, however. He’s in good health for his age, doesn’t smoke or have heart trouble. The main risk factor is his age.”

  “And stress? He’s been under a lot of stress lately.”

  “That won’t help, certainly.”

  Julian gritted his teeth. “Can I see him?”

  “In a little while. We’re just setting him into the cardiac ward. Mr Underwood has given authority for you to receive full details of his medical treatment so you’ll be treated as a relative when you come to visit.”

  “His nephew’s a patient here too.”

  “So I understand. Will you let him know or do you want our staff to tell him?”

  “No, I will. Tell Leo…Mr Underwood that I’ll be back soon with his overnight gear and not to worry about anything.”

  Nuji gave a little meep just then and disappeared. The doctor saw Julian’s expression. “He’s fine—his kem’s just going back to him as is normal. You got Mr Underwood here in time. Go do what you need to and you can see him later.”

  Julian nodded and the doctor walked off. He couldn’t decide what to do—go back to the apartment and come back or see Zachary first?

  Zachary, he decided. He needed to know about this—Leo was his only relative, after all.

  He found Zachary staring moodily into space, his laptop switched on but ignored. Linis whined and came over for a petting, which earned him a glare from his host. “Where’s Leo? I thought you weren’t coming here any more.”

  “Leo is in the cardiac ward. He had a stroke, most likely caused by all the worry over you. So pull in the attitude, Ledbetter, I don’t need to hear it.”

  Zachary’s eyes widened. “S-Stroke? When? How is he? What happened?” He sat up with difficulty. Julian didn’t bother helping him—he wasn’t in a helping Zachary kind of mood.

  “It happened this morning. They say it’s a minor stroke, but they’re worried about a bigger one so they’ve admitted him.”

  “Can they treat him? Will he get better? Will he…is it going to happen again?”

  “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. What I do know is that they think the two biggest risk factors are his age and stress. And guess who’s been the main cause of stress for the last month?” He folded his arms and looked at Zachary with distaste.

  “I didn’t ask to be hit by a car, and I tried to get him to go home.”

  Zachary’s eyes were as chilly as Julian had ever seen them but they didn’t do a damn thing to intimidate him.

  “The accident wasn’t your fault. Your attitude is. You’ve been a prize bastard to him ever since he turned up, and now he’s sick. I hope you’re happy. Maybe he’ll die and then you won’t have to worry about anyone visiting you any more.” His breath caught in his throat at the idea of Leo really dying, and he had to turn away so he could wipe his eyes. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.

  “I don’t want him to die. That’s vile of you.” Zachary’s voice was little more than a whisper. “He’d hate you for saying that.”

  “Maybe but someone needs to. He’s seventy-eight years old, and he’s been coping with your tantrums and your bad moods and your refusal to cooperate all this time. It’s driving him nuts. And now he’s sick.”

  Julian turned, another snappy comment on his lips, but it died when he saw Zachary’s bleak expression.

  “I—”

  Zachary cut him off. “I didn’t want him to get sick. That’s why I wanted him to go home. I knew something like this could happen. I told you I could manage without him or you, but no, you wouldn’t listen. So maybe you’re the one who wanted him to die.” He bit off each word as if it was poison in his mouth.

  “I didn’t! I…I really like him, a lot. He’s kind of become family. I know why he couldn’t go home while you’re in here. You wouldn’t understand that kind of loyalty.”

  “And you wouldn’t understand my wish to keep my only living relative safe and sound, would you. You assume that knowing him a month makes you a better nephew than me. Go ahead, claim him. Leave me with nothing and no one if that makes you happy. Now get out—I need to find my uncle and see him for myself.” He reached for the nurse’s bell, glaring with reddened eyes at Julian. Even Pyon jumping down to cuddle with Linis at the foot of the bed, didn’t soften his expression. “I said, get out.”

  “No, wait. I'm not trying to steal him from you. You’ve been pushing him away. You push everyone away, me included.”

  “Considering your behaviour now, why shouldn’t I? Do you want me to have you thrown out?”

  “You think Leo would want you to do that?”

  A nurse came to the door. “Yes, Zachary? Is there a problem?”

  The man turned down the glare to merely haughty as he spoke to the nurse. “My uncle’s had a stroke and has been admitted here—is there any way I can visit him?”

  “Let me find out. I'm sorry to hear about Mr Underwood.”

  The nurse ducked out again. Zachary stared over at the window, avoiding Julian’s eyes. “I want you to leave.”

  “I want to talk to you about this.”

  “I don’t. This is a family matter now. You’re not family. Just go away and leave us both alone.”

  Stung, Julian picked Pyon up, who protested at the abruptness, and stalked out, his face hot with anger. No, he wasn’t family. But if Zachary was all Leo could count on, then Leo was in a bad way.

  He sat in the car, fuming, worried, wondering what he should do. But finally he decided that while Zachary could make decisions for Zachary, he couldn’t make them for Leo—and Julian really was Leo’s PA, for however long that lasted. So he’d be a good PA and look after the old guy, until Zachary managed to persuade him that Julian wasn’t family enough to be bothered with.

  Back at his apartment, the paramedics had left a mess—not surprising, since they were a little busy saving Leo’s life—so Julian tidied up the litter of packets and plastic, now feeling rather numb and helpless. What if Zachary got him banned? What if he turned Leo against him? What if Zachary decided to go further to remove Julian from his life? He could have him fired—even what Julian had said today would be more than enough for him to do that.

  Pyon mewled and twisted in his arms—he wanted to climb up to Julian’s shoulder so he could lick his ear. “At least I still have you, right?” Pyon chirped happily but Julian felt his eyes filling with tears. What a mess.

  He left it for two hours before he called the hospital. Leo was now settled in and expecting him, he was told. That took the decision out of Julian’s hands. Even if Leo only wanted to tell him to get out of his and Zachary’s life, Julian had to let him do that in person.

  He took a taxi up to the hospital, feeling that he shouldn’t use the car when it was just him, and when maybe he didn’t have the right to use it all any more. He asked for directions to the cardiac wing, and found Leo dozing in a small ward with two other patients. As he approached, Leo opened his eyes and smiled, a little crookedly.

  “Julian,” he said, and Julian was relieved beyond measure that the earlier garbled speech had disappeared. Leo’s voice still sounded a little slurred, but it was much better than Julian had dared hope. He looked normal, weary, maybe a touch pale. Frail, certainly. But not dying.

  Leo reached out a hand and Julian took it. It shook a little, and there was less strength in Leo’s grip, but he could still move his hand. He wasn’t paralysed.

  “I was so worried,” Julian said, his voice choking.

  “Me too. Frightening.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired. Worried about you. You look dreadful.”

  “I feel…God, Leo, I thought you were going to…” He bowed his head, and bit his lip. Relief and sadness overwhelm
ed him. Leo wouldn’t die today. But he still might do, and he was still Zachary’s uncle.

  Leo patted his head. Then Julian heard a meep, and then Nuji jumped onto his lap, making Pyon squeak excitedly. The two kems embraced like long-lost brothers. “He missed his friend,” Leo said.

  “Yes, maybe he should get used to it.” He looked up, rubbing his eyes quickly. “I saw Zachary. We, um…”

  “Yes, he told me,” Leo murmured. He held his hand out again for Julian to take. “He said you were very rude and accused him of wanting me to die.”

  “I did. I didn’t mean…I just felt he…hasn’t been very thoughtful.”

  “No. He hasn’t been. I told him the same thing.”

  “Oh. What did he say?”

  “Not very much. He asked me to dismiss you, tell you to go back to work, and for me to move into his apartment. I told him he was a bloody stupid young fool and I would do no such thing.”

  Julian blinked away the tears. “Really?”

  “Yes, of course. I love Zachary but he’s the last person I want rearranging my personal relationships, especially with people I’ve become so fond of.”

  Julian pressed Leo’s hand to his cheek, not caring that he was getting it wet. “I thought…he said I wasn’t family. I'm not but I still…care a lot and…if you died…Leo, if you died, I’d be…” He broke down. It had been too much, this morning, with Leo and then Zachary.

  Leo patted his shoulder. “My dear, dear boy, I'm not going to die. Not yet anyway. The doctors here are almost embarrassed to have me in here, I'm in such rude health.”

  Julian laughed and then sniffled, scrubbing at his face with his hand.

  “Look at me, Julian.” He obeyed, and found Leo regarding him with a kind expression. “I can honestly say that nothing Zachary does or says will ever make a difference to my friendship with you. I want you to know that, believe it. Will you?” Julian nodded. “Good. I'm sure it got a bit fraught—Zachary was very upset too, and not just on his own behalf. He does care. He’s just terrified—of being abandoned, of being lonely, of losing those he loves. And the truth is…at my age, I can’t offer him the reassurances he needs. One day I won’t be around any more. I lie awake at night sometimes and wonder how will he cope, all alone and so unwilling to let anyone come close to him. He’s such a good man, Julian, but so very, very frightened of being hurt again. The world hasn’t been kind to him, and he doesn’t trust it.”

  “But he makes it worse than it needs to. I want to be his friend and he pushes me away. He wanted to send you away. It’s like he can’t see the connection.”

  “He probably can’t—or can’t allow himself to. I’ve let him down, I know that. I could have been closer, tried harder, but I let him move away, and then I settled overseas, never thinking that I could have made a difference, when I could and should have. I don’t know how many years I have left to me, but I'm going to change things now. I'm going to live in this city, be close to him, even if he pushes me away. I won’t let him be alone when I can be there.”

  Julian squeezed Leo’s fingers. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

  “Yes, he does. And like him, I have a weakness for wounded helpless things, even when I'm pretty helpless myself,” he said with a wry smile.

  “Will you be able to still stay with me? Can you walk okay?”

  “I'm fine. They think the symptoms will disappear almost completely, but they’ve put me on some blood thinning medication. I just need to take things easy, but I always do.”

  “Coming up here three times a day and buying an apartment isn’t taking it easy.”

  “My boy, you’ve been doing most of the work. But for a little while, I’ll have to ask you to do some more—do you mind?”

  “Of course not! What do you need?”

  “I’d like you to take over visiting Zachary, starting now.”

  Julian took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “I can’t—he told me to get out. He’ll just call the nurses and make them throw me out.”

  Leo smiled and tightened his fingers a little in Julian’s grip. “Oh, I think maybe he won’t. Will you try, for me?”

  “You’re meddling again.”

  “Unashamedly. But for a good cause. You see an arrogant, self-assured man with the world at his feet. I see a lonely little orphan, clutching Linis as if he never intended to let go, and refusing to cry at his parents’ funeral. You scared him today. You need to fix it.”

  “By telling him how sick you were? It’s true!”

  “No, by giving into his bluff, and doing as he predicted—walking away. Someone needs to introduce him to the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

  “Yes, they do. Okay, I’ll try, but I can’t make him see me.”

  “I know. Use Pyon. He can’t resist your little kem any more than I can.” Pyon stuck his fluffy head up in enquiry, hearing his name. “Yes, you, mischief. Go help Julian mend some fences.”

  Pyon chirped and ran up the bed so he could lick Leo’s chin. Leo laughed and Julian grinned as he lifted his cheeky kem off the sick man’s chest. “I’ll come back afterwards.”

  “Yes, do. It’s boring in here.”

  “Brought you some books,” Julian said, taking them out of the holdall, and placing the other personal items in the locker. “I didn’t know what you’d like, but there’s a few different ones.”

  Leo shook his head in amazement. “Julian, you’re simply a treasure. Now, off you go.”

  He couldn’t face Zachary immediately. He needed to think, and make sure he could stay calm. He walked outside the hospital, sat on a brick wall of a flowerbed, stared up at the brilliant summer sky. The season was almost over. By the time Zachary was well again, it would be nearly winter.

  Leo was staying. Leo was old and had just had a stroke, and was possibly the best friend Julian had ever had. And he had a prick of a nephew who needed him too. Needed him so much he was too scared to let him come close because he was bound to lose him.

  Julian’s family were all alive, even his grandparents. No one had ever died on him. The worst thing that had ever happened to him was messily breaking up with his boyfriend at University, and the two of them were sleeping with other people before the week was out. Zachary and Leo had brought Julian the closest he’d ever come to losing anyone who meant a damn thing to him. And it hurt.

  How much more must it have hurt for Zachary? Losing his parents, then his grandparents—who knew how many other people had died or deserted or dumped him? How many people had Zachary driven away before they got a chance to do it to him?

  At least one, Julian thought miserably. And not without reason. Going in with guns blazing to a sick man’s room and delivering bad news with one hand and a slap across the face with the other didn’t make him a prince in the slightest.

  Pyon howled quietly, twining around his legs. He’d been off looking for other kems and exploring, and now he’d come back to the only person he really loved and trusted. Who he believed in the deepest part of his kemmish heart, would never leave him or hurt him. “I did hurt you, though,” Julian whispered. For the same reason as he’d hurt Zachary. Pure and utter thoughtless selfishness.

  He sighed and picked Pyon up, nuzzled his soft fur. “I don’t deserve you, little fella.” Pyon just licked his face. Deserve, don’t deserve, didn’t come into it with kems. They were stuck with you until you died. People were different.

  He popped Pyon onto his shoulder, and stroking his kem’s fluffy tail, he walked back inside and went up to the orthopaedic wing. He was a little surprised to see Zachary in a wheelchair, wearing a rather nice deep blue bathrobe, with Linis sitting sedately on his lap. He’d progressed a lot in the couple of weeks since Julian had last visited with Leo.

  Zachary’s expression became stony as he saw Julian come in. He pressed the control on the wheelchair which turned it, motored over to the window, but said nothing.

  Julian cleared his throat. “I, uh…saw Leo. He looks okay.” Nothing. He
walked into the room a little way. “Zachary, I'm sorry. Those things I said, they were revolting.”

  “You meant them, though. Every word of them. You’re only sorry because Leo didn’t approve. He did though. Agreed with you that I'm disgustingly selfish and cruel.”

  “He never said that. He’d never say that, and he doesn’t think it. I don’t…I really don’t think that. Selfish yes, not disgustingly selfish. And you don’t mean to be cruel, you just…are, sometimes, because you want the best and you don’t seem to realise we’re all just human.”

  “Believe me, I'm very aware of that. I thought I told you to go away.”

  “Yes, you did. But if I go away, I can’t apologise or talk to you, or see how you are, and ask if you’re still worried about him, or if your leg hurts, can I?”

  Zachary turned the wheelchair around. As he did, Linis leapt off and came over to Julian. Pyon hopped down and the two kems began to lick and groom each other, eyes half-closed in pleasure. A sight which once had delighted Zachary, now made his lips thin with anger.

  “You subvert my uncle, you subvert Linis, you insinuate yourself into my home and my life, and now you want to be my friend? Why? So you can teach me a lesson? Take away everything that’s mine and show me how I'm supposed to live? What do you want, Julian? Gratitude?” He spat the last word out at Julian, his eyes stormy.

  “You make it sound like this is some kind of evil plan! I never expected any of this! You think I wanted you to have an accident?”

  “I think you’re exploiting an opportunity. I’ve known people like you.”

  “No, you just think you have. I'm not the ones who hurt you, lied to you, cheated you. I'm just…ordinary. Someone who thought you were a prick and got caught up in this situation, and got to know your uncle, and you, and Linis, and this is hurting me too. You think I don’t know how afraid you are that Leo might die? Do you know what we went through when we thought you would? I cried with relief, you bastard! So did he.”

  A nurse put his head around the door. “Zachary? Is there a problem? Mr Godwin, you’re being very loud.”