A Fluffy Tale Page 9
“I'm sorry,” Julian mumbled, staring at the ground. Could this day get any worse?
“There’s no problem, thank you,” Zachary said coldly. “We’re just discussing…family matters.”
“All right.” The man gave Julian a slightly reproving look and then went away.
Julian walked over to the chair and sat down. “I'm not exploiting anyone. I know you don’t believe me, but I just…fell into this. Like everything else in my life. Like the job. I never wanted to be a legal assistant, but a history degree didn’t give me many options.”
“Do something else then.”
“Like what? I'm not made of money like you. Another degree would be expensive, and I’ve got loans and things to repay. I want to travel, not that it’ll ever happen. That’s about the only plan I’ve ever made. You were an accident. So was Leo.”
“How can you live so chaotically?”
Julian shrugged. “It’s worked okay to now.”
“Leo’s relying on you, and yet you don’t plan, you don’t think, you say things which hurt and then pretend you didn’t mean them—“
“And you don’t?”
“No. I always mean them. I sometimes…don’t realise how hurtful they are.”
“You know well enough telling someone to go away, they’re not family, hurts. You know pulling the status thing is a bitchy thing to do and you keep doing it.”
“If you’ve come here again to tell me my shortcomings, Julian, let me assure you I am in no way under any illusion that people think of me as charming. Now, you’ve satisfied honour and Uncle Leo’s request, so you can leave. And this time, don’t come back.”
Julian folded his arms. “Uh uh. I’ll leave when Linis tells me to, and he’s happy. You? You have no idea what you want so I'm not listening to you. Someone who’s afraid of being alone and who drives away anyone who wants to be friends, is crazy. Your kem has good sense, though. I’ll listen to him.”
“I’ll have you removed.”
“No, you won’t. You could have done that earlier—twice you could have done it, but you didn’t. You know what I think? If you wanted me to leave, Linis would tell me. You said yourself, they know your heart.” He looked pointedly down at the two happy kems, lost in a grooming and cuddling ecstasy. “If you want me to leave, ask Linis to tell me.”
Zachary hissed and turned the wheelchair around to face the window. Linis looked up—and then went back to licking Pyon as if his life depended on it.
Julian decided he could be a stubborn arse too, if he wanted to be. “We’ve finished your bathroom—the plumber found a leak in the pipe work, could have cost you thousands to fix if he hadn’t dealt with it. The hoist arrived yesterday, looks like a lot of fun. I'm getting used to parking the damn car, but I hope Leo doesn’t want to keep it because it’s really ugly, and people stare at you when you reverse into a spot. I—”
“What do I have to do to make you go away?”
Julian took a deep breath. “Really want it, Zachary. And really, really mean it. Really want me never to come back, never to see Pyon, never to help Leo again, out of your life and your hair and your apartment. You turn around, face me, make me believe it. And make me believe it’s not just fear, getting your retaliation in first. That’s all you have to do, and I’ll go.”
Nothing. The silence dragged on and on. Zachary’s head was bowed, but not a sound emerged. Linis suddenly stopped grooming Pyon and with a sad little squeak, ran over to Zachary and jumped up onto his lap. Pyon trotted over and joined him.
Two kems, eh? You’re really worrying them.
He walked over and stood so he could see Zachary’s face—or would if the man looked up. “Zachary? Do you want me to go? Really?”
Zachary stared at Pyon and Linis on his lap. “You’ll leave anyway. Leo will die. You’ll die. How can I…only Linis will stay,” he whispered. “Only him. People leave.”
Julian crouched down and put his hand over Zachary’s, resting on Linis’s fur. Now he could see the man’s face, the red eyes and the tears glistening on his lashes. “Everyone dies. It’s a fact of life. I can do everything I can to live at least as long as Leo, longer, but in the end… But you know, I think you’re wrong about kems. I think they live on.”
Zachary wiped his nose with his sleeve. “Why?”
“Well, they don’t have sex, don’t reproduce, but they all seem to know each other, like each other. Where do they come from? I think they must…pass on, somehow.”
“Doesn’t matter. I still won’t have him…God, I…if Leo died…I was…it…”
His face screwed up against the fresh tears, and Julian just couldn’t stand it anymore. He put his arms around Zachary’s waist as best he could. “You were scared?”
“Like…it was like…when Grandfather came in to tell me that Mama and Papa…I felt so helpless. I just…I don’t want to feel that way. It hurts, and I can’t bear it.”
Julian stood but only so he could hug Zachary a little better, the man’s head resting on his stomach. He stroked the thick, dark hair. “I don’t know what it’s like but I can guess. I really, really shouldn’t have told you that way. I'm sorry. Really sorry.”
“C-Can you let go of me, please?”
Julian obeyed and stepped back. Zachary’s face was now red as well as wet. “Sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No…I…I appreciate…I just…don’t like being touched.”
Julian blinked. This guy was even more screwed up than he’d imagined. What had his grandparents done, beaten him with sticks every day or something? “I just—“
“I know, I…” He looked up, his expression devastated. “I’ve never said any of that to anyone. I'm so ashamed.”
“If you think I'm going to look down on you, you’re wrong.”
Linis sat up and began to delicately lick the tears from Zachary’s chin. Zachary tried very hard not to look at him or Julian or anything, his embarrassment painful to see. If he really hadn’t told anyone any of that…that was a pretty scary thought in itself.
“Hey, do they let you go outside in that thing?”
Zachary wiped his nose again. “Uh…I have no idea. Why?”
“Well, maybe we could go out to the garden, have some fruit juice or something, let Linis get some fresh air, and then we could swing by Leo’s bed and see how he’s doing.”
“I don’t—”
“We never did get that walk in the country park together. Come on—it’s a gorgeous day outside. Did they feed you? Would you like lunch?”
He chivvied and persuaded, obtained the nurses’ permission so Zachary couldn’t use that as an excuse, and finally managed to manoeuvre Zachary, his chair and their kems down a lift and outside into a little garden not far from the canteen. He found a spot that offered a little shade, since it was hot as well as sunny, and then rushed off to find juice for them both, a sandwich for himself since they’d already fed Zachary.
He returned to find Zachary lost in thought and the kems rolling around on the grass, a third creamy coloured one who’d appeared from somewhere, joining in the fun.
“Here you go.” He opened the bottle of orange juice, since Zachary was still one-handed, and passed it to him. Zachary accepted it without a word. Julian sat on the grass and opened his sandwich pack. He thought it best to leave Zachary alone for a bit. It had been a rough day for everyone.
He finished his sandwich and set the pack on the grass, lying down on his back, head pillowed on his arms so he could watch the kems playing. Pyon immediately had to investigate and Linis strolled over too, though with much more dignity. Their new friend wandered off but Pyon didn’t notice, far too fascinated by the crinkly sound the plastic sandwich pack made and the way it moved when he batted it. Linis yawned—this wasn’t his thing at all—and then to Julian’s surprise, he walked over and up onto Julian’s stomach, where he perched, serenely surveying Pyon’s antics.
“Well, your highness. Comfortable?” Linis stared back with his
great golden eyes as if to say Julian was a peasant and should be grateful to be so honoured.
Pyon spotted Linis’s long tail draped over Julian’s side—and pounced. Julian suddenly found his stomach had become a battleground for the two kems fighting for dominion over Linis’s appendage, bouncing up and down on him like he was a fleshy trampoline and paying absolutely no attention to either of their humans. Julian was too amused to seriously try to stop them, and rather amazed at the dignified Linis getting down and dirty with Julian’s impolite little kem.
He glanced over at Zachary—and found the man watching it all with a rather sad look on his face. “He’s never done that with anyone else,” Zachary said wistfully.
“He does, you know. He plays with Nuji and Leo all the time. Maybe you…maybe if you gave him the opportunities?” He was trying to word it in such a way that didn’t make it sound like ‘if you weren’t such an antisocial bastard, your kem would have more fun’ but he suspected he hadn’t succeeded.
“I’ve tried to give him everything he needs and what he was missing was company. What a boring life for him.”
Julian sat up, and the kems toppled off his stomach, only to take their mock war to the grassed area. Pyon, smaller and faster, was getting away with murder. Cheeky brat.
“No, I don’t think it has been, honestly. It’s just that he’s been under a lot of stress and he turned to us for help. Look, he’s going back to you already. He likes Pyon. He loves you.”
Linis jumped up onto Zachary’s lap and made it very clear that he wanted a cuddle and his host’s attention. Pyon played a little longer with the plastic packet before Julian got up and took the litter to the bin. Then Pyon climbed up his leg and also demanded a cuddle. It had been a tough day for the kems too.
Julian picked up a chair from the canteen and dragged it over. Zachary petted Linis absently, his eyes lost. “You’re kind of looking at this backwards, you know,” Julian said.
“In what way?”
“You think me being around means there’s less of Leo and Linis for you, but there’s more. More people and kems for both of you.”
Zachary gave a one-shouldered shrug. “And when I'm better?”
“Up to you. Leo says he’s going to live here now. I’ll want to be in touch with him wherever he ends up.”
“Here? Where?”
Damn, Leo hadn't told him. Julian smiled. “Oh…he bought an apartment in your building. On the floor above you.”
“He what?!”
“Shhh.” Julian waved at him frantically, looking around to see if hospital security was curious about the shouting. “You heard me. He wanted to be close to you and he doesn’t drive. It’s a good location. You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to, but considering the tantrum you just threw, that’d be a bit stupid.”
“Did you put him up to it?”
“Zachary, your conniving old great uncle runs rings around me. I just trail around behind him making fish impressions.” He demonstrated and raised a small smile in his companion. “He wants to spend the rest of his life close to you. Why is that a bad thing?”
“He didn’t before.”
“He wanted to. You should ask him about your grandparents, I think.”
“Sounds like you and he have done little else but discuss me and my private affairs.”
“Strangely enough, that’s what happens when you have to look after someone who nearly died. Mr Ledbetter, you’re being a prick. Again.”
Zachary nodded, as if that was fair comment—Julian had expected him to go off about it. “Hey, that wasn’t a serious…you don’t have to let me insult you. You can argue back, I won’t walk off unless you get really nasty.”
Zachary looked up. “But I will and you will.”
“I’ll come back. Until Linis says not to. He’s a smart little guy, your kem.” He reached down and stroked Linis’s exquisite fur. The kem trilled and arched into his hands. Julian looked up and found Zachary staring. “Okay?”
“Okay.” His voice wobbled a little. He wasn’t as calm as he’d like Julian to believe, but Julian didn’t want to shred all Zachary’s defences—just the ones which were getting in the way of his own happiness.
“Great! So, let’s go pester Leo. He’s bored stiff and it’s been all of eight hours.”
Zachary managed a smile. “It was lucky the car ran over me and not him.”
“You have a very strange definition of luck, Mr Ledbetter.”
Chapter 7
And just like that, Zachary stopped making it difficult to organise his return to the apartment. Part of it was because Leo would live there too for a bit, since it made sense that if they were hiring full-time attendants, they should keep an eye on Leo as well and take the strain off both of them. But part of it seemed to be that Zachary accepted the good will behind the arrangements. He wasn’t exactly enthusiastic, but that was a lot more than Julian expected from anyone having their home turned upside down, and facing weeks and weeks of disability and painful rehabilitation. But he was cooperative about decisions, and offered opinions when asked, and made suggestions when it was appropriate. Leo was amazed—and grateful.
Julian was grateful too because it took a lot of stress from Leo, and that made Julian a lot less worried. Having both of them poorly made for extra running around. Leo had almost daily doctor’s visits for checkups the first week after he was allowed out of hospital, and the doctor had insisted he cut down visits to his nephew to once a day, so Julian had to make up the shortfall—but he didn’t mind in the least. He felt needed and respected, and for the first time in his adult life, like he actually made a difference to someone who wasn’t related to him. That the office had covered his absence so easily was kind of insulting, but not that much of a surprise. But if he stopped helping Leo and Zachary, it would hurt them a lot. He wasn’t exactly irreplaceable, but he was more than a convenience. He found he liked having that kind of responsibility, and wondered how he’d replace it when Zachary was fit and could do whatever Leo needed doing.
Release day didn’t go completely smoothly. Julian absolutely forbade Leo to be involved at all, and told him to stay in the apartment and rest while he settled Zachary in. It turned out to be a wise decision. There wasn’t an out and out disaster—just lot of small irritations. The building manager had locked the service elevator, so Zachary had to wait in the car for nearly an hour before the man was found. A couple of the doors which they thought would be wide enough for the electric wheelchair, weren’t, and had to be removed from their hinges. Zachary realised he wouldn’t be able to cook in the kitchen after all, despite the ramp allegedly making this possible, and that meant he’d have to rely on his attendants or Leo or Julian. That was the closest he came to losing his icy coolness, after so long being preternaturally patient with all the annoyances. But Leo saved the day by sweeping in with an airy insouciance, ordering an exquisite and healthy meal from a local restaurant while declaring he never cooked at home, and that Zachary should enjoy the luxury while he was around. The attendants were given two hours off while Leo, Julian and Zachary had their lunch.
Since Leo looked rested and was at his most charming and amusing, the food was good, and Linis and his two friends decided that the modifications and hoists were all specially installed kem toys, Zachary’s ill-temper slowly melted away under the relentless barrage of things not going wrong and the playfulness of the kems. He even allowed himself some cheesecake.
“Full of eggs, don’t you know?” Leo said, grinning at his nephew. “Good for recovering patients.”
“Full of fat and sugar, Uncle Leo.”
“So? You’re skin and bones, Zachary. A little of what you fancy…”
“A little, yes.” He glanced sideways at Julian, before adding, “Uh…but thank you for the meal.”
“Not at all. Thank you for letting me stay. Julian, I'm afraid our next task is organising the removal of my worldly goods from my old place, to here. I’ve decided maintaining the
old apartment as a pied-a-terre is just too self-indulgent and I want my books.”
“My next task, Leo,” Julian said firmly.
“Our next task.”
Julian looked at Zachary in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I want to help. It’s only my leg and arm that have been damaged, not my brain. Frankly, I could do with the activity.”
“Very well,” Leo said, clapping his hands together, “my two favourite young people can take this tedious task away from me with pleasure. I’ll assign myself to kem sitting. Zachary, your help with my legal affairs would be appreciated too. They’ve appointed some fellow down at your firm, but he’s not got your brain.”
“Of course, Uncle.”
Julian cleared his throat. “Uh, Leo…maybe with Zachary back home and with the live-in helpers and everything…I could go back to work now. I can still help you in the evenings. Zachary’s secretary is supposed to be coming around to help him ease back into things, and she could—”
Leo turned to his nephew. “Zachary? What do you think?”
“I think Julian accepted a responsibility and he should see it through to the end.” Julian started to seethe at the cool remark, but then Zachary added, “Linis doesn’t like my secretary. He likes you. I trust Linis’s opinion.” And he smiled a little, the tired, drawn smile of a man who’d had a hell of a day but who’d managed to stay calmer than anyone could have reasonably expected.
Leo beamed and patted Zachary’s hand. “As you should, my dear boy, as you should. I'm sorry, Julian—Messrs Clarke, Saxony and Markham shall just have to do without you for a while longer because I don’t intend to do without you.”
Pyon, sitting on Julian’s shoulder, squeaked excitedly and then decided to rearrange Julian’s hair in a bout of frenzied hair licking that made him fall off his perch. Julian caught him and laughed. “Okay. I didn’t want to go back anyway.”
“Then stop suggesting it and fetch our boy his pills. Now, don’t give me that face, Zachary, or I’ll ask that beefy Mr Sanet to administer them rectally. The doctor was quite happy with either route.”